Friday, April 21, 2006

Little bits of goodness...

I could easily have spread this entry over five updates, but out of kindness, I'm cramming all these juicy bits into one overstuffed uber-entry! Trust me...these are all worth wading through. Consider these titles to whet your appetite:

1. Streets of Philadelphia...
2. Dirty talk in the airport
3. I'm sure that I'm carrying the bird flu...
4. Elena #1 returns...
5. Benjamin Franklin kicks ass...

So first, we begin with my warm afternoon stroll through Independence National Park yesterday afternoon. My coworker Jen and I had a couple of hours to kill before our flight home, so we took a stroll in the 80-degree sunshine.



Truly a lovely day to see the the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and various other colonial buildings. Now, I do love that period of American history, but it does make you chuckle to visit buildings "OVER TWO HUNDRED YEARS OLD" so soon after visiting Rome and its 2000-year old structures. Oh, but I'm not here to pick.

Although, yes, I will.

So, Benjamin Franklin's final home a couple of blocks from Independence Hall was torn down after his death. Now, you can "peer underground" at the bricks that were once his house. Nice try, but the Coliseum is still standing.

Oh, but here is the brick hole where Franklin's bathwater and toilet used to drain.


So, from Independence Park, I took a short cab ride to the airport, where I grabbed a bite at the TGIFridays. It was there that I was reminded how good my job is and why I could never be a traveling salesman. Seated next to me were two middle-aged men and a young women who clearly worked in sales for the same company. One of the men (clearly with no brain-to-mouth filter) made two classic conversational observations:

"If I could do what a dog can do, I wouldn't be married." and "This store had some of the nastiest magazines. Stuff like 'Hemaphrodites' and 'Women Over 40'."
Let me remind you that he was talking with a female coworker, and that nobody at the table was under 40. Can you just imagine this guy trying to charm his way to closing a sale?

On to item #3...the bird flu. I would just like to state that for the entire flight home, the woman to my left and the two men across the aisle to my right were all sneezing. I'm doomed.

Jumping to Elena...Elena #1 to be precise. Yes, she wrote back. Jealousy perhaps? Anyhow, her storyline is advancing nicely, and for the first time we hear about sending money!! This is a good one:

My dear and love. Today I woke up with fine mood. Do you know why? Since that time when I got acquainted with you I thank destiny. I think that soon we shall together. The visa will be given to me for the period of 3 months. Do you you imagine? We can see 3 months each other and feel each other. It as in dream. Yesterday I and my girlfriend sat counted charges which will be for trip to you my honey. It approximately 1200 US dollars. I have available 330 dollars. Yesterday I could agree with the chief on work that he gave out to meholiday for 3 months then when I shall ask him. All goes well. It pleases me. ... I am glad that I have an opportunity to devote the life to the fine person as you my dear. I love you and this finest feeling. I can not wait our meeting.
Signed: "Your beauty".

Awesome.

And finally, I leave you with the best tourist trinket ever: the Benjamin Franklin action figure! It capped off a fine week.

3 comments:

JamesF said...

Think there are any 'samples' in the Franklin toilet drain? Maybe they could clone him. If nothing else I bet a network would pick it up as a sitcom. "Ben Franklin 2006", he's an out of time clone where wild hijinks ensue as Franklin takes a job at the local newspaper. Come on, it would be funnier than "Joey".

Why would the title be "Dirty Talk at the Airport" when you were at TGIFs?

Man, Elena has really stepped it up a notch there. In a heartbeat she went from mildly interesting side story to full blown crazy b**** stalker. Hmmm, a quick google search reveals the scam. And I swear that the one that says "First reported: James" is not me.

Buddy Tignor said...

I really enjoy your humor! by the way check out this website http://www.mocafico.com/ you have probably already seen it in one of your photography classes, but if not I think you'll love it...visually stunning

BullBunky said...

James, I loved the website with the scams! Very cool. What was the funniest, however, is how some of the descriptions are written. Written like the person was truly expecting a woman to appear on his doorstep for $1000. Please.

Hmmm, Buddy, I had not seen the link you sent. Pretty cool way to display a portfolio!